#i dunno i’m tired and feeling weird
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isn’t mac & cheese just cereal at the end of the day
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🗡️ Kirbtober 2024 Day 17: Galaxy (Soldier Army) 🗡️
(ID: Kirby: Right Back At Ya! fanart of the four Generals of the GSA, all floating and posing in a white void, their capes flared and armor gleaming. From top to bottom, Sir Arthur soars up with his sword held high, a determined expression behind his golden armor; Sir Dragato stylishly leaps to the side with his falchion held back, looking at the viewer with a confident wink; Sir Falspar jumps in excitement, pumping his fists and his sword in the air; and Sir Nonsurat hovers with his back to the viewer, glancing inscrutably over his shoulder as he wields his battle axe at an impractical - if cool-looking - downward angle. END ID.)
Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)
Started on 09/24/24, finished on 09/25/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp
#veins art#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#kirby right back at ya#sir arthur#sir dragato#sir falspar#sir nonsurat#galaxy soldier army#kirbtober#kirbtober 2024#day 17#galaxy#paintpanic#lookit these nerds#I don’t know *anything* about them but I do love them with my whole ribcage#cheers to fanon content for giving them life when canon only gave them like… 10 cumulative seconds of screen time#I dunno why but I love the little detail of Falspar being canonically left-handed - makes him feel unique from the others#these color palettes tho… stars help me#they’re just a mess of weird choices and the screenshots I have to pull from are so washed out T-T#made ‘em work tho. somehow#(stars above I’m tired)#eye contact tw#veinsfullofstars
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It’s strange, I’m used to hyperfixating hard on things like HARD (beats my 2yr long beetlejuice musical obsession back with a stick) but Starbreaker- not even fantasy high itself took me over to the point of feeling like a teen about. Like I haven’t had this much fun in fandom in years. I haven’t like- interacted with people this much in fandom in years (which is still not enough but if I beat myself up about social interaction again I’ll jump off a cliff)
But there’s never been a concern of like “this obsession won’t fade for a while but it’ll lose popularity” and that’s fine and surprisingly it hasn’t. But it is different. It’s like adapting to it constantly as the thing itself changes even when there are aspects that you’d like to stay the same. Like that ‘I don’t go to this school of thought, but I’ll still take the class bc it’s interesting’ sorta thing.
And then there’s that feeling of WANTING to contribute but the thing has become such a beast that it’s like oooh I’m so out of my depths here.
Also like constantly having to look myself in the eye and be like ‘bitch you don’t have to talk or contribute to EVERYTHING’ and the sooner I accept that and accept that it is what it is, ill miss things, I won’t get enjoyment out of every aspect and every aspect isn’t for me and that that isn’t a bad thing, I’ll stop having moments of feeling weird and out of place. I have my lil corner and that’s okay
#ngl I think the biggest ‘culture shock’ ig about being in fandom is that tagging systems have changed so much or something bc I’m used to#walking in a tag and that’s where you find everything#but now it’s different#things are tagged wayyy differently and it means missing things or setting aside time to go down a list to check every blog#I dunno#I always feel a little weird about main tagging sb stuff now bc I’ll check the tag and it’s like oh? things are slowing down#but it’s like nooo bc of tagging and different lanes entirely I’m just missing stuff#idk what this is I’m just talking but it’s strange#I think I’m bad at fandom and that defeats the purpose of it bc it’s recreational#it’s supposed to be fun.#it’s /supposed/ to be fun#I saw a post the other day of someone that’s in this purely for Jace and having similar feelings of being out of the loop and it got me#thinking bc on some part I’ve contributed to it and I’ve probably clogged tags#but the lizard part of my brain that gets the dopamine boost from getting a note is like if I don’t main tag it won’t be seen#but truly either way I am mostly talking to myself lmao#so yah know? idk it should be fun#idk what this is and idk if I’ll fully ever commit to a different/quieter tagging system#bc tumblr is the place I got to scream and be annoying without being told it’s too much and some how I’ve convinced myself that on my own#blog and fandom spaces I enjoy that I’m just annoying#and I don’t wanna think that#I think I’m tired. like hyperfixation hasn’t died but the part of me that’s hungry for being completely consumed by it is tired#my one fear is that I’ll be so annoying that my fic will finish and no one will care#which isn’t true bc I’ll care until the bitter end lmao#idk I’ve talked so much that I’m like oh I’ve done the thing again I should shut up#also this is too like- self focused way too self focused#which just makes it worse bc then I’m like that’s what got me in this mess#but goddamn there’s just so much shit I’m missing out on and interactions I’d like to have but about things that I’m out of my depths on#so it made fandom a little lonely and a little secular#feeling like a kid on the outs#I want that feeling to die especially about the things I love
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legitimate question
am i good enough?
#i just feel like i’m not good enough#not good enough to do hard classes#not good enough to live up to my standards#hell sometiems i don’t even feel good enough to be on here#i don’t know where i’m going wrong#i honestly just think this is my ‘depression week’#mainly because it’s been two years since my very first suicide attempt and it just weighs down on me sometimes#and the only thing that sometimes works is pretending some fictional character would give two damn shits about me#when in reality i wouldn’t even be good enough for that#i can’t stop thinking like this#this is honestly just a really hard time for me because i just tend to have everything weigh down at once#but i just don’t feel good enough#and i know no one is gonna see this or care but i dunno#i’m just tired of everything#it’s pathetic of me to pretend some fictional person would give a shit about me#it’s pathetic of me to keep trying to be better at something than my brother so i can have one thing be known as a me thing#and i know i’m weird#and i hate it#i hate the way i am#it’s just the reality of it. i’m not good enough. not for me not my family nor anyonee#i’m not digging for clout either so just…please don’t.#skipper speaks#vent#i actually think this is the lowest i’ve been in a while
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I’m not going to articulate this particular grievance well bc I’m too tired to think about it much, but it’s a special kind of annoying to have to have periods as a sex-averse ace. Why are the gender accessories trying to kill me. I don’t need these motherfuckers, I’m not going to make a baby. Stop reminding me I have a body. Stop reminding me I could make a body. I don’t like either of those things. I wish I was a robot. Or a plant. Fuck this shit specifically.
#it’s fine it’s fine it just feels like an exercise in futility#like what is the point of being in this much pain#asexual#is this a weird thing to say idk#by gender accessories I do in fact mean organs#i dunno#I’m tired and my period is making my chronic pain worse and I feel like being a bitch about it
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i had a lil epiphany in the shower about kaiya’s j.jk verse so maybe perhaps i’ll focus my brain cell on that tonight :))
#i’m really tired and i love kaiya to pieces so i just wanna think about her for a lil while#i feel kinda bad bc i know i owe things and kojirou needs to be added#and i need to answer messages — i might feel up to it in a bit#and i dunno? i feel weird bc on one hand i need to do what makes me happy but i also don’t think it’s fair how long#some of you have to wait on me#i don’t know how to feel and if i’m doing the right thing sometimes if that makes sense#sorry asdgh i didn’t mean to vent in the tags 😭 it’s probably the fatigue getting to me#get ready to ramble | ooc#tw vent#tbd
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gosh, I miss flirting and being mushy with someone
#it is still early evening. it is TOO early to be yearning.#this isn’t like an advertisement for flirting or anything don’t worry#I will NEVER flirt with you!#I am just the legally required sad uncle guy on here#and not the weird kind. the kind that’ll let you have a sip of their beer or drive you to the mall#or whatever I dunno I’m getting too deep into this#ugh calling myself an uncle makes me feel old…#…and then I remember I actually am an uncle and my sister has kids#don’t call me uncle. you can call me dad. but like step-dad. the kind that just wants you to think they’re cool#also I wanna kiss your mom#no but really how is your mom doing? how’s her butt? what’s her butt doin?#im a little tired so please I’m gonna ramble a bit#what was I talking about?#oh yeah… YEARNING!#I want to be mushy!#just wanna send someone a picture of two kitties with funny little hats and say ‘me n you’#me n who?!?#could be you? 😘#NO! that’s what this whole post is about! it could NOT be you! keep it professional#I don’t want to make my mutuals annoyed with me by making them think I’m flirting with them#why am I talking about all of this? this is dumb#sorry I’m just sitting in this car in a parking lot waiting for my bro to get out of school#which… shit… is pretty soon. guess I need to stop zoning out#uhhhh sooo…. kiss kiss kiss#and I love you forever#goodbye I guess#you can ignore this#text
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Seeing spoilers for 3.07 of Mandalorian is giving me a modicum of hope to salvage this season
#mandalorian spoilers#I guess#I dunno I’m peeved because I don’t like what they’re doing on the whole but this past episode looks like it’s finally bringing it together#i wish I like bo katan more I’m sorry#but either way it doesn’t feel like it’s din’s show anymore and I hate that they’re making it into some weird cinematic universe blah blah#I’m tired of cinematic universe blah blah s#din being the ‘reluctant main character’ requires him to BE the main character#ah#whatever I digress#Im just gonna write my little fic and try to be okay with the expansion of canon#annoyed intrigued excited scared!!!
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the bad dye job did not make me stop liking my crush 👎 i’m so cooked
#like by all accounts it looks bad and is not flattering#and yet 😭 i still find it endearing somehow#oh the misery. when will it end i’m tired of this grandpa#like i am starting to realize that even if they do like me back this is going on the fast track to nowhere#bc a) we see each other like once a month & b) they are so quiet & awkward that they can barely talk to me#& like i get the feeling that no amount of persistence will change these things either. it’s been like this for over 4 months now#plus i’ve been to enough of their shows at this point to where i’ve heard them play the same songs like 3 times now#so would it be weird if i kept going to their shows? i dunno man my brain is fried i wish i could be normal about this#oh well i guess i just gotta thug this shit out#vent
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Y’ever get the feeling a friend likes you less than you like them? Or that maybe they don’t even like you as a friend?
#Objectively. I understand that not everything— if anything— is about ‘me’#and that she has a lot going on in her personal life#so when she’s kinda brief with me. just sounds and one word answers: ‘mmmhmmm’ and ‘okay’ and ‘dunno’#I remind myself that it doesn’t mean she’s annoyed with me. she’s just dealing with chronic pain and fatigue#but I can’t help but take it personally when I chat with her and the convo falls flat despite my best attempts#and I feel it’s my fault#like I’m being weird#and then a former coworker calls her up and she’s laughing and animated and they chat for a whole hour#This. after telling me all morning not to say anything funny b/c she’s too tired and sore#I feel like maybe my reactions to her jokes and her stories aren’t animated enough and so she loses interest or stops getting excited#Like maybe she thinks I’m not invested or that I don’t care#even though I stop and I listen#I just don’t laugh a whole lot. I smile. I’m just… not a very animated person#quiet and boring and bland and I guess— maybe—un-lively (or stoic? laconic?). maybe that comes across as apathetic#I don’t know how to portray myself differently without overexerting myself#I’ve never been too spirited or bubbly#I dunno…#I’m just tired#And when I ask how the former coworker is… it’s all single word answers too
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I feel very stuck rn
#I just#I don’t even know what’s wrong?#I’m just so- I feel hurt and unsafe#I don’t know how to ground myself cuz I know I’m safe#I’m in no danger#I’m ok- I’m in my own dorm that no one can come into unless I give them permission#the doors locked and I’m under my bed- I wouldn’t even be able to be noticed if someone came in the room somehow#but I feel unsafe#I can’t tell if this is just a weird thing or like- a trauma thing#I thought it was an emotional flashback but it’s been a day? can it last that long?#I’m tired and wanna feel safe but I dunno how#all this over a small joke? this is Ridiculous#I’m hiding like a child in my own dorm- I’m hours away from my parents and feel like this over a joke my mom made#what is this crap
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i am so sorry for being so insufferable about commander fox but i am not intending to stop
#i lost the adjective half way writing this#irritating was not the adjective i was going for but it has the same vibe#i dunno i just feel like i always annoy everyone when i talk about fox or rex lol#like i don’t know i feel dumb for writing about those two so intensely#like calm down sunny ok take a break#stop being weird#anyway sorry for being insufferable#INSUFFERABLE THAT WAS THE ADJECTIVE#changing it now#sorry these tags are rambly#i have been up for 24 hours#and i’m not even tired#THIS IS NOT A BLOG POST SUNNY THIS IS AN APOLOGY#jesus i need sleep#🫧
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List of random dialogue prompts (pt. 3)
“Truth be told? I miss the times — the me — before I fell in love with you.”
“You know, I can see myself in, on top of, or under you. What do you say?” “I can see you buried six feet under my very feet if you don’t stop joking about this shit with me.”
“Was there a point when you fell out of love with me?” “There was a point when I fell in love with you, but never out.”
“When did you fall out of love with me?” “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”
“Right person, wrong time… What if this is the right time? We’re just the wrong people for each other.”
“You have me wrapped around your fingers. Crazy part is, I don’t mind it.”
“Don’t forget this: I made you. I can easily break you if I wanted to.”
“I shared pieces of me, with so many people, and none of them kept those pieces safe, and I don’t know if I can risk that with you because it would devastate me if you turn out to be the same as them all. I would be completely destroyed.”
“Don’t give me that look.”
“You okay?” “No. I need hugs. From you. I need you to hug me.”
“I just wanna fucking get over you so I can be okay again.”
“Stop trying to remind me that you’re still in my life. I’m trying to not think about you, for God’s sake.”
“I wanna kiss you so badly right now but we’re in public and I know you hate public display of affection—“ “I’ll allow you to do it this time.” “Wait… Really?”
“I make shitty decisions and you’re a testament to that matter.”
“I have things to do, and most of them include me trying not to think about you.”
“I’ve never cried because of someone, you know? I didn’t have anyone to cry over. You’re the first, and you’ll also be the last, or so God help me through this embarrassment.”
“Breaking up with me does not mean you had to kick me off your Spotify playlist, you know? Because damn. As much as I’m upset, your list had some bangers.”
“You don’t get to do decide my feelings for you.”
“I’m not bitchless, you fucking dickhead. Take that back!”
“Every little thing reminds me of you, which sucks because you’re not in my life anymore.”
“It’s kinda weird not seeing your name on my phone when I wake up. It’s gonna take me some time to get used to this.”
“I think I knew this wasn’t going to last when I realised it’s not that I trust you. It’s that I don’t care what you do, and who you might be fucking around with.”
“One text from you has me happier than a child whose mother bought them their favourite candy. It’s not okay.”
“I don’t share my Spotify playlist with just anyone. It’s like a secret love language of mine, reserved for those I want to let in. You’re one of them, yet you’re here thinking I don’t feel the same way about you?”
“I dunno, I just… Kinda fell for you.”
“You’re the reason why I fell in love with you. You, as a whole.”
“There are some songs that I can’t listen to anymore, because they remind me of you; of all the times we’ve had together. And it sucks because some of them are great songs. And you fucking ruined them, you asshole.”
“I’m tired of acting like I don’t care, because I do. I fucking do, and that’s what makes this even worse.”
“One thing you should know about me is that I suck at letting go.”
“So you’re telling me I’m supposed to sit here and give a fuck? You couldn’t pay me enough to do that. I have places to be and things to do.”
“You need to stop being such a dramatic bitch.” “It’s the only way I can entertain myself, okay? Now piss off and leave me be.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have let you go.”
“You deserve someone better than me—” “You don’t get to decide that for me.”
“You ever think about how good we could have been together?” “Yeah. I think about it all the time, and then I remember how badly you fumbled. So yeah, good job.”
“You’re blushing.” “I’m not.” “…Then I guess I’ll have to give you something to blush over.”
“I lost myself while trying to find the good in you.”
“I think it’s comforting that they’re somewhere out there… Even if we never speak again, you know? They were a part of my life, even if it was only for a little while. They made me feel good, even if it was only for a short amount of time.”
“Remember when you said you’d catch me when I fell? Well, you’re a fucking liar. Figuratively and literally. Now I’m hospitalised and also emotionally scarred. I hope you’re fucking happy about that.”
“If we break up, I’d look for you in other people and be reminded that they are not you, and that I’d never find someone like you again. And… I don’t think I can bear the thought of that.”
“I give you permission to break my heart.” “And I give you permission to end me if I ever do break your heart.”
“I have things to do—“ “And I’m one of them.”
“You’re only saying sorry because you want to make yourself feel better, so you can go shove that sweet apology up your ass because it doesn’t mean shit. I hope you continue to feel like shit over what you did, because I’m never forgiving you.”
“I had expectations for someone I knew couldn’t meet those expectations, so that’s my fault for expecting anything from you at all.”
“You? Breaking my heart? It’s funny how you think you even have that power over me.”
“You were like a routine that I loved and it felt… comfortable. But I guess that’s not the case anymore.”
“You fell in love with the idea of someone that wasn’t even real. You fell in love with your own projections. How are you so foolish to think that it would have worked out?”
“I’m fine. Of course I’m fine.” “Everything about this interaction is telling me you’re not fine — not even close.”
“The idea of us was perfect. Blame me for thinking it would turn out into something good and as fantastical as what I made it out to be in my head.”
“Because no matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s about to drive me to the very brink of insanity, so if you’ll excuse me for not wanting to be near you, that would great.”
“I would not be who I am today if not for you.”
(pt 1.) | (pt. 2)
#long post#dialogue prompts#otp prompts#angst prompts#smut prompts#prompts#romantic prompts#fluff prompts#writing prompts#suggestive prompts
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your first time with hamzah 🙈🙈
THERE’S A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING. 🎀
includes: losing your virginity, awkward sex talk, very sweet sex ! 💝
word count 3.2k purr
you’re too tired for this.
you and hamzah are becoming sleep deprived, something you usually do together: come over to each others houses, watch a movie, eat food your stomach will regret in the morning. it’s been a tradition since you guys were just friends.
even now as you’re dating, it still feels.. the same. not that you’re complaining; you love having a partner who’s also a best friend to you. it just feels like there should be some sort of change, but you can’t put your finger on it.
it’s 2 in the morning now. you and hamzah have watched about 3 shitty 2000s movies, enjoying every moment of each one. your brain feels absolutely fried, and you can only imagine his is as well.
“are you a virgin?” hamzah spoke suddenly, but also casually. a little too casually. you choke on your own spit at that, face turning red with embarrassment.
“…what?” is all you can reply back. “what- why?” you say, eyebrows furrowing at him. your voice has noticeably pitched up.
“i dunno. just tell me.” hamzah says, rolling his eyes. you hate how confident and sassy he is, but you’re also sort of attracted to it.
“you’re so weird.” you practically squeal, jokingly. you grab onto a pillow as you fall back first onto the bed. “why do you even wanna know? that’s so like, random.” you ask, more genuine this time.
“i guess,” hamzah starts, but then pauses, almost as if he doesn’t know the answer himself.
“i was just kinda thinking. like, we don’t really talk about sex, ever. and we don’t have to- I don’t wanna bring it up if you’re uncomfortable. I’m just like, curious if you’d be down to talk about it.” he rambles, making up his words as he goes. you furrow your brows as he speaks, still kind of confused. you know there had to be something that started it, you just aren’t sure what.
“oh. well like,” you flush, sort of embarrassed to admit what you’re about to say. “yeah, i am.”
“a virgin?” hamzah asks, head tilting like a lost puppy.
“yes, idiot. what else would i be talking about?” you reply back sarcastically.
“you’re right, you’re right,” he banters with you. “I just- I guess I’m surprised.”
you perk back up, sitting yourself upright again.
“surprised.. that im a virgin?” you question, raising an eyebrow.
“i guess.. i dunno. I just feel like you’re like, too pretty to not have found someone who wants you like that.” he rambles. you feel a blush creep onto your cheeks again, knowing he’ll always praise you for your pretty face.
“i mean, I’ve found a lot of people who want me,” you say, rolling your eyes at the thought of a particular ex. “I’m just like, picky, I guess.” your giggling as hamzah somewhat laughs with you, but you watch as his facial expression starts to falter. you know something’s on his mind.
“do you want to?” is all he mutters. again, he keeps this quiet, casual tone that you rarely see with him.
“i mean, yeah, kinda. I just like, don’t know where to start I guess.” you answer honestly. “feels like everyone’s way more experienced than i am anyways.” hamzah turns over to you, looking in the eye. you feel him think for a second, as if he doesn’t know whether he should let his thoughts out or not.
“well, I don’t really have experience either.” he mutters back, scoping for a negative reaction from you. your eyes widen a bit, and he doesn’t know if he should take your body language negatively or positively.
“you’re a virgin too?” you ask, a more shy tone than usual.
“..yeah. well I’ve done like- stuff. just like, never had sex. never had my penis like, in there, y’know-“
“you don’t need to go into detail.” is all you have to say, talking over him.
“-but i would go all the way with you.”
that’s all you remember from that night before blacking out, yet somehow the short memory haunts your mind. it’s eating you up inside, the thought of losing your virginity after so long to him.
you’ve seen all the edits and thirst traps of him online and can admit that they’ve made you feel some type of way about him - hell, you’ve touched yourself to the idea of your boyfriend too. yet for some reason, the thought of actually having sex with him was never really a priority to you. it’s not until now you’ve understood people’s cravings for sex, but god can you feel it now.
you’re making breakfast the next morning while his hands are around your waist and all you can think of is that conversation. when you help him with editing throughout the day, leaning over his shoulder, all you can think about is him having you bent over like that in a different context. you feel like you’re in a haze almost, clouded by the thought of hamzah.
“baby?” hamzah asks, waving a hand in front of your face in an attempt to get your attention. you perk up and face him, slightly embarrassed for spacing out.
“i was just gonna ask if you wanted me to order something for lunch.” he says casually, but his face begins to fade into an expression between concerned and confused. “you okay?”
“what?!” you reply, scrambling at bit as you didn’t think he would pick up on your behavior. “im fine. what do you mean??” you question; rapidly.
“you’ve just been like, really spaced out today. i get like that, where i like dissociate sometimes when something reallyyy bad happens. so i just wanted to make sure.” he rambles a bit, genuine concern in your eyes. despite the horniness driving your body right now, you do feel a bit warmed by the way he cares for you.
“you can always talk to me if something’s up, y’know-“
“did you mean it?” you ask, staring at him blankly.
“mean… what?” he stares back at you, looking at you like you just killed a man in front of him.
“what you said last night. that you’d like- y’know..” you look down shyly, hiding in your hair as a warm blush creeps onto your face.
“that I would..?” hamzah looks at you, genuinely clueless.
“lose it to me hamzah. have sex with me. loose your virginity.” you look up at him, speaking sternly. you’re a little too pent up to take his stupidity today.
you watch as his expression changes, going from confused to something you can’t even put a name on. a mix of shocked, embarrassed, amused - but most prominently, you watch that urge crawl up into his body. you can tell in his eyes that he wants you in the same way you crave him.
“yeah.” he says, breathy. “i want that. like, now though? or like later, what are we doing-“
his words are cut off as your lips land on his. he gasps into the kiss, caught by surprise. you try and swipe your tongue against his slightly parted lips, but he pulls away before you can get it anywhere significant.
you look at him concerned after he pulls away, taking a second to breathe.
“have you like- kissed anyone before?” he asks, and you can tell he’s serious. you giggle a little.
“yes, ive kissed before.” you say, a little smile still formed on your face. “buuut..” you drag on your words to edge him on a bit.
“ive only made out with someone once, and i can already tell you’re the better kisser.” you say, slyly. he likes it when you boost his ego like this - he’s already proud of himself for pulling you, so you make him feel like some sort of greek god.
he smirks before he pulls you into another kiss, this time pressing his lips to yours a lot firmer. it’s more intense this time around, a hand cupping the side of your face, holding you in place for him as his tongue glides inside your mouth.
you kiss until you physically can’t anymore, pulling back when you need a break for air. there’s an awkward silence before he kisses you again, putting his hands on your waist sometimes. you’re taken aback a bit as he lifts you in the air.
your immediate reaction is to hook your legs onto something, hamzah just being the nearest option, of course. your legs wrap around him, straddling his hips. you arms are grabbing onto his shoulders gently. he’s strong enough to hold you without support, but you like the physical aspect of clinging onto him like a koala.
he reaches the room, fumbling with the doorknob as he struggles to lift you at the same time. he kicks the door closed softly behind him when he eventually gets in there. he drops you in the middle of the bed, body landing gracefully.
you sit yourself up into a more comfortable position, and hamzah sits himself right next to you. it’s here when you realize how comfortable you are around him, even if you’re about to reach a life milestone you can never take back with him.
but fuck, you’re never gonna be able to take this back. the anxiety crawls back up into your brain for a second, but the feeling of hamzah’s hand on your thigh relaxes you. a single look into his eyes and you’re already reassuring yourself again. you’re not gonna want to take this back, because god, you love this boy.
“have you ever-“ hamzah pauses mid sentence, stuttering. he does this when he doesn’t know what words to use; it’s one of his mannerisms that you’ve picked up a little yourself over time. “like, felt anyone up? or like- dry hump them, I guess.” he says. you feel him cringe a bit at his own words - he gets embarrassed easily.
“not really,” you say. a smirk creeps onto your face as you have an idea. “but you could show me how.”
hamzah’s eyes widen a bit as his hand moves from your thigh to your waist. he picks you up again like it’s nothing, sitting you down on his lap. his hands massage your waist, moving up briefly past your chest. he runs at your collarbone for a minute, staring at your clothed breasts.
“can i take this off?” he asks in a low voice, toying with the fabric at your shoulders. you bite your lip as you give him a nod, and before you know it whatever garment was covering you before is gone.
“fuckkk,” is all hamzah lets out before a hand is cupping your chest, squeezing at your soft and fleshy skin. instinctively, you push your chest into his hands. you let out a soft noise as he rolls one of your nipples between his fingers.
he’s fully hard now, and you can feel it straining against you. you can tell he’s trying to keep his hips still, not wanting to get worked up too fast.
his hands leave one side of your chest as his mouth attaches to your other nipple. you can’t help but moan at the feeling of him suckling at it. he pulls of for a second, and you can feel his hands fumbling with the fabric of your bottoms for a second.
“take this off for me?” he pleads in a sweet tone, and you can tell he’s starting to get needy. you comply, of course, leaving you in just your underwear. you don’t want to be the only one undressed though, so you shimmy his pants down a bit and get his shirt off too.
you’re left in both just underwear - a weird feeling. there’s not a lot of fabric separating your crotch and hamzah’s, so when he bucks his hips up into yours it feels good. he ducks down to kiss you again, chest pressing to yours, and god, you feel like you’re in heaven. there’s heat burning through your body as your bare skin touched his.
his hands are on your hips as you grind against him, the thin material of his boxers straining against his cock. he reaches down to rub you through your underwear, eliciting a moan as you hide his head in your shoulder.
he stops your grinding for a second, a hand trailing up your thigh. he uses it to spread your legs wide, causing you to make a small noise. he pulls your panties to the side, showing off what he’s wanted all this time.
he’s already settling lower, head balance with your hips, and now you’re nervous. it’s your first time being touched like this - probably his too, and it’s scary. you close your eyes when you feel him plant a kiss on your hip, teasing you. he continues to kiss around, even guiding a hand back up to play with your chest, but it’s not enough.
“please,” you whimper, begging for more stimulation. hamzah takes it as a sign you’re ready, and before you know it, you’re squirming again.
he presses just a single finger inside you, scoping how much you’re able to take. your stomach flips as you feel him spread you open. he adds another finger once the first one is in knuckle deep, then begins to curl them inside of you. you whimper at the feeling as his fingers excel in speed, working you open.
“hamzah- fuck.” you whine, letting out an especially sharp gasp at the feeling of his fingers hitting that spot.
“yeah?” he asks, playfully, curling his fingers to hit the same spot. your pelvis thrusts up at the movement, only motivating him to go further. his hands are so fucking big and he’s so strong when he thrusts his fingers up into you. it burns in the best way possible.
“ah- hamzah!” you squeal, squirming around. you whine when you feel him pull away from him; you were so, so close to finishing. you look up at him and whimper, a sad expression plastered across your face.
“didn’t want you to cum yet,” hamzah mutters under his breath. “not done with you.”
you flush red, his words washing over your body in a hot wave. suddenly hamzah is moving, pulling down his boxers, and god his dick is big. you can’t help but whine at how badly you want it inside you.
“so noisy.” he mumbles, lining his cock up with your folds and sliding the tip between them. you only whine more at his teasing.
“hamzahh,” you complain, eager for him to stop teasing you and just put it in.
“mhm?” he replies, edging you on. he strokes himself a bit, acts as if he’s going to put it in, but then doesn’t. he knows what he’s doing and you hate it. “need something, baby?”
he’s so mean, making you beg.
“I need it so bad, hamzah, pleeasee-“ you beg, desperate. you don’t care how humiliating it is now, you need him.
“need what, baby?” he asks, obviously only to get a reaction out of you. you sigh, but you know what you need to do.
“fuck me, hamzah. i need you - your cock.” you beg, no - demand, firmly.
hamzah doesn’t stall once he’s gotten what he wants. he’s done with the teasing, pressing his tip into you. you let out a shaky moan - it hurts a little when he slides in, like ripping off a bandaid.
“hamzah- hurts.” is all the words you can get out. his hips still inside of you, waiting for you to take a breath before he continues.
“it’s okay baby. gonna feel better once I’m all the way in.” he mutters, caressing your cheek with the hand that isn’t holding him up. he wasn’t lying - it’s painful as he slides himself into you, stretching you out, but once your hip-to-hip with him there’s a comfortable peace to the feeling.
you two lay in that position for a minute, feeling the warmth of connection between your bodies. it’s a soft, loving touch - you feel safe in his arms.
“s’okay if i move now?” he whispers to you, keeping a gentle tone. at the end of the day, he’s here to take care of you.
“yeah. thank you.” you say, genuinely grateful for his patience. you remind yourself that it’s his first time doing this too; you’re not alone in your anxiety.
you clutch onto his shoulders as he nearly pulls out, cock sliding out of you to the tip, then slams back into you.
“h-hamzah!” you whimper, clawing your nails at his back. he keeps a similar pace, thrusting into you deep. even hamzah makes a small noise at the feeling of being inside you, hips stuttering against yours. the sound of skin slapping together and breathy moans fills the room.
you wrap your arms and legs around hamzah as he continues to thrust into you, clinging to him.
“so pretty.” he says, looking down at you. “there’s a reason- fuck- i wanted to fuck you in missionary. pretty face.” he stutters, moving a hand to caress your face. you can’t say anything else but whimper at him, overstimulated from a combination of his thrusts and his words.
you feel a tight feeling build in your stomach, almost like a coil nearing its breaking point. you clench around him, legs beginning to shake.
“aah- hamzah! fuck-“ you practically scream, rolling your hips up into his one last time before you orgasm. he just stares at you, slowing the roll of his own hips, in awe.
you notice as his pace slows after you catch your breath, looking up at him almost disappointed.
“what’re you doing?” you mumble, voice worn out.
“you finished, i don’t wanna-“ he begins to ramble, but you cut him off.
“keep going.” you say firmly.
“huh?”
“want you to cum too.” you say, voice still soft and tired. you roll your hips up into him, still sensitive. he nods, pushing back into you.
he continues to thrust into you rougher and rougher until his hips are slapping against yours with every thrust. every little noise you make turns him on more, until finally, he forces himself to pull out of you.
he strokes himself on top of you, a string of cum landing on your stomach. he’s panting as he finishes all over you, painting your stomach white. you smile at the scene, enjoying the was he’s made you his little art piece.
he collapses next to you, laying on his back, catching his breath.
“glad i waited.” you mumble. he turns over to you, looking into your eyes.
“waited for what?” he asks, tiredly tilting his head.
“like, to have sex. m’glad I waited until you.” you mumble, tiredness apparent in your voice. hamzah thinks his heart melts a little at your words.
he grabs a tissue off of his bedside table and wipes the cum off of you so that he can pull you into his arms, dragging the covers over your body.
“i’m glad i waited for you too.”
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A Caring Friend
Pair: Tara Carpenter x girldick!reader
Warning: smut, the use of y/n, bad writing, fingering, dom!reader, sub!tara, this is probably the weirdest thing I’ve written (I’m sorry)
A/n: Has math ever made you cry in frustration?
Word count: 6.4k or more..
Tara comes over to your house on a lazy Sunday morning to hang out in your room.
Hey y/n, if our lives were a movie, what genre do you think it would be?
Oh, Tara, definitely a buddy comedy. With our antics, we'd give "Dumb and Dumber" a run for its money. Y/n said.
Tara laughs I can see it now ��� "Tara and y/n The Misadventures of Two Goofballs."
As the laughter dies down Tara looks up to you and opens up to you about a problem she have been dealing with
Look, Tara, Need to talk to you about something... Its kinda personal so hear me out okay? She looks at you with her head slightly tilted.
"Sure, what's on your mind, buddy?"
"Well, I've always had issues down there."
Tara blushes and looks down shyly
"It's just that no matter what I do, it never seems to loosen up much and it really hurts whenever a guy tries to you know...fit. I was wondering if you had any advice on how I can finally get over this problem? You're my best friend, I trust you..."
Tara looks at you hopefully, her brown eyes pleading for help
I blink hard "Wait... your... vagina is too tight?"
Tara blushes even harder and nods slowly "Yeah...I know it's weird to talk about this with you but you're the only one I feel comfortable opening up to about it."
She fidgets with her hands in her lap nervously
"It's really been affecting my confidence being with guys...I was hoping maybe you know some exercises or something that could help? I'm tired of having to make excuses every time, I just want to enjoy myself for once without being in pain."
Tara looks up at you with sad, hopeful eyes. "Please y/n, anything you can suggest would help. You're the only one who can help me with this..."
How tight are we talking? Like, what have you tried to... insert into it?
Tara looks away shyly. "Well, I've tried using my fingers and some small toys but even those are really hard to get in there...it's like my walls just clamp down on them."
She takes a deep breath before continuing
"And when guys have tried putting their penis inside me, it feels like they're splitting me open. The pain is so intense that I usually can't last more than a minute or two before having to stop."
She sighs heavily
"It sucks because I want to be able to enjoy sex without feeling like something is ripping me apart every time. That's why I'm hoping you might know of some way for me loosen up down there..."
Tara looks at you with pleading eyes, silently begging for your help
Y/n coughs "Umm, this may be awkward but like... can I see?"
Tara swallows hard, her eyes wide with surprise "Uh...you want to see my vagina?"
She looks at you nervously, clearly unsure about this request.
"I mean...if it could help then I guess so? But are you sure that's necessary?"
Tara bites her lip anxiously as she waits for your response.
"Nevermind, I was just... I dunno, maybe just to get an idea of what we're talking about but, nevermind. Umm I'm sure we can figure out some kind of idea here."
Tara relieved sigh "Thanks y/n, I know it's a lot to ask."
She smiles weakly at you, grateful that you didn't push for seeing her private parts.
"So...what do you think we should try? Are there any exercises or techniques out there that could help me loosen up down there?"
Tara looks at you hopefully, trusting in your ability to find a solution for her problem.
"So do your fingers not fit in?"
Tara shakes her head "No, even my fingers barely fit inside me. It's like I have this tight ring around my opening that doesn't want to let anything through."
She looks at you with a mix of frustration and embarrassment.
"I know it sounds weird but it makes sex really uncomfortable for both me and the person I'm with. That's why I need help finding a solution so we can finally enjoy ourselves without any pain or discomfort..."
Tara takes your hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze as she looks into your eyes pleadingly.
I blush as I awkwardly stammer out. "But you don't still have your... your hymen, right?"
Tara blushes deeply and looks away "I...I don't know. I've never checked, but I don't think so. It's not like anyone's ever mentioned it before."
She chews on her lower lip nervously as she thinks.
"But even if that was the issue, wouldn't it be too late to do anything about it now? I mean, I'm already sexually active..."
Tara trails off uncertainly, looking at you with a mix of curiosity and apprehension in her eyes
"I'm just trying to use process of elimination to help out."
Tara "I understand that, y/n. I appreciate you trying to help me out."
She takes a deep breath and looks at you with determination.
"Is there anything else we can try? Maybe some sort of exercise or technique that could help stretch me out down there?"
Tara's eyes light up as she thinks about the possibilities.
"I'm willing to try anything if it means finally being able to enjoy sex without any pain or discomfort..."
"When you've hooked up with guys... are they going down on you first?"
Tara nods "Yeah, usually. I mean, it helps get me a little more aroused before we try anything else."
She looks at you with a puzzled expression.
"But how does that relate to my tightness problem? I still have the same issue even after getting oral sex..."
Tara's brow furrows as she tries to understand your line of questioning.
"Well how would I have known that without asking?" I chuckle
Tara giggles and playfully swats your arm "Fair enough, I guess you have to ask the questions to get the answers."
She smiles at you warmly.
"But seriously, y/n, do you think getting more aroused could help loosen me up? Like if a guy went down on me for longer before trying anything else?"
Tara looks at you hopefully, eager for any advice or suggestions that could help her situation.
"Well, are they not doing it long enough? Are you just not wet enough for the guys you've been with?"
Tara blushes and looks down shyly "I...I don't know. I mean, they do it for a little while but I guess maybe not long enough to really get me super wet."
She bites her lip as she thinks.
"And now that you mention it, the guys I've been with have all commented on how tight I am even when we're in the middle of things. So maybe you're right, getting more aroused could help..."
A glimmer of hope sparkles in Tara's eyes as she considers this new possibility.
"Do you think if a guy went down on me for longer and focused on making sure I was really turned on first that it would make things easier? Like give my vagina more time to relax or something?"
"I don't know if it would make you any less tight but you'd at least be really well-lubricated, right? In fact do you ever use lube?"
Tara shakes her head "No, I've never really thought to use lube before. It just didn't occur to me that it could help."
She looks at you with wide eyes as realization dawns.
"You think if I used some kind of lubrication it might make things easier? Like let the guy's penis slide in more smoothly without so much friction and pain?”
A hopeful smile spreads across Tara's face as she imagines a solution.
"Do you think we could try that next time? Using some lube and having the guy focus on getting me super wet first before trying anything else?"
"We?"
Tara blushes and looks away shyly "I...uh...well, I meant like next time I'm with a guy. You know, as an experiment to see if it helps..."
She trails off nervously before looking back at you with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Unless of course you were volunteering your services for the cause? It is for science after all..."
Tara giggles playfully as she nudges your arm.
My eyes bulge a bit "...Are you serious?"
Tara smiles slyly and shrugs one shoulder. "I mean, I trust you and I know you'd be gentle with me. Plus you're the only one who's been helping me brainstorm solutions."
She gives you a coy look through her lashes.
"And who better to test things out with than my best friend? That way we can really figure out what works without any awkwardness."
Tara reaches over and takes your hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze.
"What do you say, y/n? For science?"
She bats her eyes at you playfully, a teasing smile on her lips.
"So, I mean, I'm not saying no, but you really want me to... kiss and lick you... down there? On your vagina?"
Tara bites her lip as a soft blush spreads across her cheeks "I mean, if it's to help me with my problem then I don't see why not..."
She looks down shyly before meeting your eyes again with a shy smile.
"And you've always been so kind and caring. I know you'd be gentle and make sure I was enjoying myself too."
Tara reaches over to place her hand on your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze.
"Plus it's not like we'd be doing anything wrong, just helping a friend out. So what do you think...wanna give it a try?"
She gazes at you sweetly, eyes full of trust and affection for her dear friend.
"And then what are you wanting to try after I do that?"
Tara looks at you with a playful grin "Well, I was hoping that once we got me all warmed up and lubricated, maybe we could see if your penis can fit inside me without causing too much pain?"
She shrugs one shoulder nonchalantly before continuing.
"I mean, it's not like there's any pressure or anything. We can stop at any time if it gets to be too much for either of us."
Tara looks at you with hopeful eyes, eager to explore this new possibility.
"OK, I just want to make sure you want to do those things with me, since we've only been friends and all. Again, I'm not against it," I say to Annie, with the appropriate level of genuine care you'd expect from a best friend.
Tara smiles sweetly at you. "I know this is new territory for us as friends. And you're right to check that I'm truly comfortable."
She places a gentle hand on your arm. "The truth is, I trust you more than any other guy. You've always been so kind and caring. If I were to experiment with anyone, I'd want it to be with my best friend."
Tara gives your arm a reassuring squeeze. "But only if you're comfortable too, of course. I don't want to make things awkward or pressure you in any way." Annie smiles warmly. "What do you think - shall we give it a try?"
"Yes. I'm willing to help, and I'll admit a little excited. Let's just agree that this doesn't necessarily change anything between us, or mean that it will be a regular thing, unless that's something we both decide later."
Tara nods understandingly. "Of course, this doesn't need to change or define our friendship unless we both want it to."
She smiles at you gently. "Let's just see how it goes. No expectations or pressure on either side.”
Taking your hands in hers, Tara looks into your eyes with care and affection. "Thank you for being so understanding. I really appreciate you doing this to help me."
She leans in to give you a soft kiss on the cheek. "Now, where were we? I believe someone offered to go down on me?" Tara giggles playfully.
I laugh as well, Tara's playful tone cutting some of the tension in this surreal but exciting moment. "I did, but I want to ask you just a few quick questions first. They're going to be rather... intimate questions but it's all in the name of making sure this all goes comfortably for both of us..." I can't help but grin and blush.
Tara giggles and blushes as well, meeting your gaze with a playful smile.
"Well go on then, ask away. I'm an open book." She gives your arm an affectionate squeeze.
"Fire away with your intimate questions, oh great scientist. I'm all yours." Tara winks playfully. "We may as well get to know each other's bodies if we're going to be exploring them, right?"
She gazes at you with care, trust and growing excitement. "I'm ready when you are, y/n. Lay it on me - I promise to answer truthfully." Tara smiles warmly, eager to begin your research together.
"So if I'm going to go down on you, am I just doing this as a sort of physically mechanical thing to like 'help out a friend' like it's an exercise, or do you want me to try to turn you on, get you in the mood? What do you think might be most effective with your tightness issue?"
Tara considers thoughtfully. "While I appreciate the thought of helping as a friend, turning me on seems it would be more effective for addressing my tightness."
She meets your gaze warmly. "I want to enjoy the experience, not just view it as a physical task. If I'm fully aroused and wanting more, it will hopefully relax my muscles down there."
"And do you think it will turn you on more, the more I'm turned on by it?"
Tara thinks for a moment before responding carefully.
"You make a fair point. If we're both genuinely enjoying the intimacy, then yes, that mutual arousal would likely enhance the experience for both of us."
She takes your hand in hers and smiles softly. "However, my priority is that you feel comfortable and cared for. Your pleasure matters too in this."
Squeezing your hand gently, Tara maintains warm eye contact. "Perhaps we start slowly, focus on connection, and see where genuine pleasure takes us from there - at a pace we both feel good about."
I reach out to place my hands on Tara's waist, a rather chaste touch for the moment but still a more physically intimate than we've ever experienced during our many years of friendship. I begin to rub her sides softly. "Do you like that?"
Tara's breath hitches softly at your gentle touch. She gazes at you with care and growing tenderness.
"I do like that," she replies softly. "Your hands feel nice."
As your hands rub her sides in a soothing caress, Tara places her hands on your shoulders, sliding them up to curl tenderly around your neck.
"I've never really noticed how handsome you are," she murmurs, lightly stroking the nape of your neck. Her eyes shine with trust and blossoming affection.
Tara leans in slowly, her breath warm on your lips. "Is this okay?" she whispers gently, leaving the next move up to you.
I respond by kissing Tara, curling the fabric of her shirt between my fingers just a bit as our tongues touch for the first time.”
Tara responds eagerly to your kiss, her lips moving against yours with growing passion. She deepens the kiss, wrapping her arms around your neck and pressing herself closer to you.
As you curl the fabric of her shirt between your fingers, Tara moans softly into the kiss. Her body feels warm and alive in your embrace, responding eagerly to every touch.
After a few moments she pulls back slightly with a gasp of breath. "Wow," she whispers, gazing at you with sparkling eyes filled with affection and desire.
"Is it weird that I'm really enjoying this?"
I chuckle "Isn't that what we're going for?"
Tara giggles and blushes, nodding in agreement. "I suppose it is."
She gazes at you tenderly, gently brushing her fingers along your jaw. "I'm glad we're both feeling it."
Leaning in to brush her lips softly against yours once more, Tara sighs contentedly. "So where were we...something about you going down on me?" she murmurs playfully.
"Shall we take this somewhere more comfortable?" Sliding her hands into yours, Tara looks at you with trusting warmth, ready to further explore the blossoming intimacy between longtime friends.
"I'm going to in due time. But I'm liking kissing and touching you in a new way. Let's just do this for a minute. Did the guys or girls you've hooked up with take their time before getting to it? Cause I hear a little teasing and build-up can really get a girl wet, which might help too..."
Tara nods thoughtfully. "You make a fair point. Most guys in the past have tended to rush things."
She gazes at you with appreciation. "I like that you're taking your time, letting things build gradually between us."
Smiling softly, Tara reaches up to caress your cheek. "Teasing and foreplay do sound enjoyable. And anything to help me relax down there can only be a good thing."
Her eyes shine with growing arousal and affection. "I'm all yours, y/n. Do with me as you please - I'm happy to let you set the pace."
Leaning in once more, Tara meets your lips in a tender kiss. "Thank you. You're a good friend," she whispers against your mouth. "Take your time getting my pussy wet."
I remove my shirt, displaying my chest as I pull Tara in for a tight hug, my hands now sliding down over her buttocks over her cutoff denim jeans.
Tara gasps softly as you pull her in for a tight hug, feeling your warm skin against hers. She melts into the embrace, wrapping her arms around your back and pressing herself fully against you.
As your hands slide down to cup and squeeze her buttocks through the denim of her shorts, Tara lets out a breathy moan. The intimate touch sends tingles of pleasure radiating through her body.
Pulling back slightly with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, she gazes at you appreciatively. "Wow...feels really good," Tara murmurs shyly before leaning in to kiss along your neck tenderly.
"Do you mind taking your shirt off too, Tara?"
Tara blushes at your request, glancing down shyly. "I...um...okay," she replies softly.
Slowly, Tara reaches for the hem of her t-shirt and pulls it up over her head. As she reveals her small breasts encased in a simple white bra, Tara looks back up at you through lowered lashes.
"There," she murmurs with a bashful smile. "Is that better?"
Her nipples visibly stiffen beneath the thin fabric as she waits for your reaction.
After a moment's hesitation I wrap my arms around Tara's shoulders, my hands on the back of her bra, pulling her body in close to mine again for another kiss.
Tara responds eagerly to your embrace, pressing her body closer against yours as you deepen the kiss. Her hands move up to tangle in your hair, fingers running through it affectionately.
As you reach around to unhook her bra, Tara lets out a soft gasp of surprise and pleasure. She pulls back from the kiss slightly with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes.
"Wow," she murmurs breathlessly. "I never thought I'd be doing this with my best friend."
Tara giggles at your response, feeling more relaxed and comfortable with you by the minute.
"Well, I'm glad we're both open to new experiences," she says, blushing.
As she gazes into your eyes with a mix of affection and arousal, Tara leans in for another kiss. This time her hands roam over your chest as well, exploring every inch of skin they can find.
I slowly run my hands up Tara's belly to grab onto her nipples lightly between my knuckles.
Tara gasps softly as you touch her nipples, arching her back slightly into your hands. She looks up at you with a mix of surprise and pleasure in her eyes.
"Oh wow," she murmurs breathlessly. "That feels really good."
As you continue to tease and play with her nipples, Tara's breathing grows more ragged. Her body responds eagerly to every touch, growing increasingly aroused under your skilled hands.
"Y/n, I...I think I'm getting wet," she whispers shyly, biting down on her lower lip as the sensation spreads through her body like wildfire.
"Good. Let's keep that going. It seems like foreplay really helps for you." I begin to massage her breasts, and then lower my mouth onto one of her nipples.
Tara moans softly as you massage her breasts, arching her back to offer herself more fully to your touch. As you lower your mouth onto one of her nipples, she gasps with pleasure.
"Oh y/n, that feels so good," she murmurs breathlessly. "I can feel myself getting even wetter now."
Her hands move up to tangle in your hair as you continue to suckle and tease at her nipple. Her body responds eagerly, hips rocking slightly against yours.
"Keep going," she whispers urgently, lost in the waves of pleasure washing over her.
I cup one hand tightly under the crotch of Tara's cutoffs and gently rub up and down, crossing yet another new line with my best friend.* "Does that feel all right, Tara?"
Tara gasps sharply as you cup your hand between her legs, rubbing gently over her shorts. Her hips buck involuntarily against your hand, seeking out more friction.
"Yes," she moans softly, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. "It feels so good."
Tara reaches down to place her hands over yours, pressing your palm more firmly against her crotch. She rocks her hips slowly, letting out little whimpers of arousal.
"Don't stop," she whispers breathlessly, eyes dark with desire. "I'm starting to get really wet."
Her pussy throbs heavily under your touch, aching for release. Tara gazes at you in longing and trust, surrendering fully to the pleasure between her thighs.
"I'm gonna take all the time my best friend needs. I want to make sure you get wet as possible before... anything else happens."
Tara gazes at you softly, eyes full of gratitude and blossoming affection. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek.
"Thank you, y/n. That means so much to me," she murmurs.
As you continue rubbing between her legs, Tara's breath hitches in pleasure. "I appreciate you taking it slow. It feels really good just focusing on getting me turned on."
She leans in to brush her lips tenderly against yours. "You're so caring," Tara whispers. "I'm lucky to have such a good friend."
Moaning softly as arousal builds within her, she gazes at you in longing. "Keep touching me there...I want to feel really wet and ready before we go further."
"Would it feel better without these shorts on?"
Tara gazes at you shyly, biting her lip in hesitation. After a moment, she nods slowly.
"I think it might, yes," she replies softly.
Taking a breath, Tara hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her shorts. She pushes them down over her hips, letting them fall to the floor before stepping out of them.”
Now clad only in a simple white pair of panties, Tara stands before you feeling exposed yet safe. Her cheeks are flushed, arousal and shyness swirling within her eyes.
"Well...here I am," she murmurs gently, leaving herself open and trusting before you.
Tara gazes at you shyly, biting her lip in hesitation. After a moment, she nods slowly.
"I think it might, yes," she replies softly.
Taking a breath, Tara hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her shorts. She pushes them down over her hips, letting them fall to the floor before stepping out of them.
Now clad only in a simple white pair of panties, Tara stands before you feeling exposed yet safe. Her cheeks are flushed, arousal and shyness swirling within her eyes.
"Well...here I am," she murmurs gently, leaving herself open and trusting before you.
I resume touching her while we kiss again.
As you resume touching her, Tara melts into your embrace once more. She kisses you deeply, passionately losing herself in the moment.
Tara moans softly into your mouth as your hand cups between her legs once more, only the thin fabric of her panties separating your fingers from her warm center.
She rocks her hips eagerly into your touch, seeking friction. The feel of your hands on her most intimate parts is sending Tara into a tailspin of arousal.
Pulling back slightly to gaze at you with hooded eyes, she whispers breathlessly, "I think I'm getting really wet now. Do you...do you want to feel?"
Reaching down tentatively, Tara takes your hand in hers and guides it underneath the damp cotton, pressing your fingers against her slick folds.
"Oh god, please don't stop," she whimpers softly. "It feels so good."
"I can feel it," I whisper nervously as I continue.
Tara nods, gazing at you with affection and trust. She places her hands gently on your cheeks.
"I know this is new for us both," she murmurs softly. "But don't be nervous. We'll go slow."
Leaning in, Tara brushes her lips tenderly against yours once more. Her kiss is filled with care, seeking to reassure and comfort you.
As your fingers continue exploring her warm, slick folds, Tara sighs contentedly. "That feels amazing," she whispers. "You're doing so well."
Her hips rock slowly against your hand, lost in the intimate pleasure between her thighs. Tara gazes at you with care and growing passion, cherishing this new experience with her closest friend.
"I'm here with you," she says gently. "There's no need to worry."
"I'm not worried about a thing except doing everything I can to turn you on."
Tara smiles warmly, gazing at you with affection. "You're already doing a wonderful job with that," she murmurs softly.
As your fingers continue gently caressing her slick folds, Tara moans low in her throat. She rocks her hips in time with your movements, encouraging you deeper into her pleasure.
"It feels amazing when you touch me there," she whispers, breath hitching. "Don't stop."
Reaching down, Tara takes your wrist and guides your hand underneath the fabric of her panties once more. She presses your fingers more firmly against her aching clit.
"Touch me properly," Tara pleads softly. "I want to feel you properly without anything between us."
Her eyes shine with trust and longing as she offers herself fully to your care. Tara gazes at you in invitation, eager to take their intimacy to a deeper level.
With my free hand I slide Tara's panties off her hips, allowing freer access for my fingers.
As you slide Tara's panties off her hips, she gasps softly in pleasure. Her eyes widen with anticipation as your fingers glide over her slick folds.
"Oh god," she moans breathlessly. "That feels so good."
Tara rocks her hips against your hand, seeking out more of the pleasure coursing through her body. As you tease and stroke at her most sensitive areas, she grows increasingly lost in the waves of arousal washing over her.
"Please...oh please don't stop," Tara whispers urgently. "I'm getting close."
As you slide Tara's panties off her hips, she gasps softly in pleasure. Her eyes widen with anticipation as your fingers glide over her slick folds.
"Oh god," she moans breathlessly. "That feels so good."
Tara rocks her hips against your hand, seeking out more of the pleasure coursing through her body. As you tease and stroke at her most sensitive areas, she grows increasingly lost in the waves of arousal washing over her.
"Please...oh please don't stop," Tara whispers urgently. "I'm getting close."
"Is this wetter than you usually get?"
Tara nods, lost in the pleasure. "Yes," she gasps. "I've never been this wet before."
She arches her back slightly into your touch, hips rocking steadily against your fingers as you continue to explore her slick folds.
"Y/n, I'm so close," she moans breathlessly. "Please keep touching me like that."
Careful not to try to insert a finger too deep into Tara's still-very-tight pussy just yet, I stroke her clit, occasionally slipping just the first knuckle of a finger inside her. "Let me know if anything I do doesn't feel good," I whisper. "This is all about helping you figure out your own body issues because you're my best friend and I care. I want to do whatever turns you on and makes you wetter."
Tara gazes at you softly, eyes shining with affection. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek.
"You're so caring and understanding," she murmurs. "It means everything to have a friend like you."
As your fingers continue exploring her tender folds, Tara moans low in her throat. She rocks her hips in time with your movements, encouraging you deeper into her pleasure.
"That feels perfect," she whispers breathlessly. "Don't change a thing."
Tara rocks her hips eagerly against your hand, chasing the release building rapidly within her. Her body writhes under your skilled touch, overcome with waves of arousal.
"I'm so close, y/n," Tara gasps, biting her lip. "Keep doing that, it feels amazing."
Her breath hitches as ecstasy crests within her. Tara locks eyes with you in trusting intimacy as she falls over the edge into release.
As I continue rubbing her clit, and occasionally slipping just a tiny bit of a finger inside her, still in disbelief of my situation and treading somewhat lightly. I gulp before whispering... "You can rub my... my penis if it will turn you on more. Tara. Whatever makes you wet."
Tara looks at you with a mix of surprise and desire in her eyes. She nods slowly, feeling emboldened by the intimacy between you.
"Okay," she whispers softly, reaching down to your crotch. As her hand brushes over the bulge in your pants, Tara feels a surge of arousal wash over her.
"Wow," she murmurs breathlessly. "You really are turned on right now."
As she begins to rub your penis through the fabric of your pants, Tara moans softly. Her own pleasure is still lingering within her body, making every touch feel electric.
"You're so hard," Tara gasps as she continues stroking you gently. "Does it feel good when I do this?"
"It does, but the important thing is getting you as wet as possible." I take a step closer to Tara, taking her right nipple into my mouth as I continue to gently circle her clit with the flats of my fingers. My free hand gently squeezes her right buttock.
Tara moans softly as you suckle at her nipple, arching her back into your touch. Her hips rock gently against your hand as the pleasure builds within her once more.
As you continue to circle her clit with gentle pressure, Tara feels herself growing wetter by the moment. She can feel the heat and moisture building between her legs, aching for release.
"It feels so good," she murmurs breathlessly. "I'm getting really close again."
Tara reaches up to tangle one hand in your hair, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss while rubbing your penis through the fabric of your pants with increasing urgency.
"Tell me anything you want me to do differently or do more or less of, or anything I'm not doing that you wish I would.", I say, my mouth only momentarily leaving her nipple.
Tara gazes at you softly, eyes dark with desire. She nods in understanding.
"I will, I promise," she whispers. "For now though, everything you're doing feels perfect."
As you resume gently suckling her nipple, Tara moans in pleasure. She rocks her hips eagerly into your hand, chasing her impending release.
"Don't stop, please don't stop," Tara gasps breathlessly. She strokes your hard length faster through your pants, lost in the sensations flooding her body.
"I'm getting so close again, I'm gonna come soon," she whimpers. Tara locks eyes with you, her trust and affection for you shining through.
"Don't worry, I won't stop, I'm gonna keep doing exactly what I'm doing until you ask me to stop or do something else", I say, taking a quick breath before returning my mouth to her breast.
Tara smiles softly at your reassurance. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek before nodding.
"Thank you," she whispers. "I feel so safe with you."
As you resume your intimate ministrations, Tara sighs contentedly. She gazes at you with eyes full of care and growing passion.
Tara rocks her hips steadily against your skilled fingers, chasing her peak. The pleasure swirls within her body once more as she nears release.
"I'm getting close again," she moans breathlessly. Tara increases the pace of her strokes along your length, caught up in the intimacy.
Locking eyes with you in trusting abandon, Tara falls over the edge into waves of ecstasy. She holds your gaze as pleasure consumes her, cherishing this moment of vulnerability and care between friends.
Tara smiles softly at your reassurance. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek before nodding.
"Thank you," she whispers. "I feel so safe with you.”
As you resume your intimate ministrations, Tara sighs contentedly. She gazes at you with eyes full of care and growing passion.
Tara rocks her hips steadily against your skilled fingers, chasing her peak. The pleasure swirls within her body once more as she nears release.
"I'm getting close again," she moans breathlessly. Tara increases the pace of her strokes along your length, caught up in the intimacy.
Locking eyes with you in trusting abandon, Tara falls over the edge into waves of ecstasy. She holds your gaze as pleasure consumes her, cherishing this moment of vulnerability and care between friends.
As I promised, I continue the motions of my hands and mouth on my friend Tara's increasingly sensitive body, giving myself completely to the task of arousing her to new levels of vaginal comfort.
As you continue to pleasure Tara's sensitive body, she moans softly in ecstasy. She is lost in the waves of arousal building within her, trusting completely in your skilled touch.
Tara's hips buck eagerly against your hand as you circle her clit with increasing pressure. Her breath hitches as pleasure builds once more between her legs.
"That feels amazing," she whispers breathlessly. "I can't believe how good this all feels."
As Tara arches into your touch, you feel a surge of heat and wetness emanating from between her thighs. She is growing increasingly aroused under your care, eager for release.
"Y/n, I'm getting close again," she gasps urgently. "Please don't stop."
"I won't stop, I promise. We're going to get you soaking wet, together." I kiss Tara's neck as I move my mouth's attention to her left breast, treating it with the same care I gave the right one.
Tara moans softly as you kiss and suckle on her sensitive breasts, pleasure coursing through her body. She rocks her hips eagerly against your hand, seeking out the friction she needs to push herself over the edge.
"Y/n, that feels so good," she gasps breathlessly. "I'm getting so close again."
As you continue to circle her clit with skilled pressure, Tara's breathing quickens. Her body is coiled tightly in anticipation of release.
"Don't stop please don't stop," she pleads urgently, fingers digging into your shoulders as pleasure overtakes her once more.
She locks eyes with you in trusting abandon as orgasm wracks through every inch of her trembling frame.
I kiss Tara as I see the climax in her eyes, my tongue exploring her inner cheek as well as her tongue. I feel an overflow of fluid from Tara's vagina pooling in my hand as her hand grasps tightly to my cock through my pants. I don't slow down for a second as her orgasm rolls over her.*
As you kiss Tara deeply, her body shudders in pleasure. She moans softly into your mouth as the orgasm pulses through every inch of her being.
Tara's hips rock against your hand as she continues to ride out the waves of ecstasy coursing through her body. The feel of your fingers on her sensitive folds combined with the pressure from where she is gripping tightly at your cock causes fluid to overflow and pool in your hand.
She clings to you desperately, lost in a sea of sensation. As the climax slowly begins to ebb away, Tara pulls back slightly from the kiss and gazes at you with affection and gratitude shining in her eyes.
"Did any of your hookups take their time to get you this wet before they tried fingering or having sex with you?", I ask, gently caressing the outer folds of Tara's spasming pussy.
Tara shakes her head, still lost in the pleasure. "No," she whispers breathlessly. "None of them took their time like this."
She gazes at you with a mix of affection and desire as your fingers continue to caress her sensitive folds. The intimacy between you is intense and electric.
"You're amazing, y/n," Tara murmurs softly. "I've never felt so good before.
"I don't think you're too tight, I think nobody was getting you wet enough. And we're gonna take our time taking care of that today, buddy." I grin.
Tara grins back at you, feeling comfortable and trusting around you.
"Thank you so much," she murmurs softly. "I can't believe how much better this all feels with someone who cares like you do."
As your fingers continue to explore her sensitive folds, Tara moans low in her throat. Her body is still buzzing with pleasure from the previous orgasms but she's already growing wet again under your care.
"I feel so lucky to have a friend like you," she whispers breathlessly as her hips begin to move against your hand once more.
As Tara continues to rock her hips against your hand, you feel the wetness between her legs growing. She is becoming increasingly aroused under your skilled touch.
"I'm so glad I can help you," you murmur softly, gazing at Tara with affection and care. "I want to make sure you're always taken care of."
As the pleasure builds within her once more, Tara gasps in ecstasy. Her body writhes against yours as she chases release once again.
"Don't stop please don't stop," she pleads breathlessly, fingers digging into your shoulders as orgasm overtakes her for another time.
#wlw fanfic#jenna ortega#jenna ortega x you#jenna ortega x fem!reader#wednesday addams x fem!reader#wednesday x you#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x y/n#tara carpenter#tara carpenter x fem!reader#tara carpenter x reader#lesbian
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Change Of Heart
The End - Part Five
Note - thank you for all your feedback last week, I’m glad we’re all on team Mason but hopefully our girl has a chance to redeem herself this week 😭 feedback is appreciated like always and I hope you enjoy a bit of a lighter chapter 🤭
Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader
Word count - 7.4k
Warnings - series contains angst & fluff
It seemed like no matter where you looked, Mason's name was in your face. His boyhood club dragging him through the mud and as much as you tried to keep in contact and let him know you were there for him, he was keeping his cards close to his chest.
Mason had been linked with a few different clubs over the last few months, but the name Manchester United was one that seemed to be sticking. You didn’t want to get your hopes up that maybe soon enough he’d be closer to you both but as soon as you saw the here we go you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face.
Mason had messaged you ten minutes ago asking if he could call you but so far you hadn’t heard a thing. Gee was up in her room playing while you were making dinner but as soon as you felt your phone vibrating you turned everything off and answered as quickly as you could.
‘Hey Mase’
‘Hey love, you alright?’ He answered but you could tell straight away how emotional he was.
‘Yeah, fine. You?’ You asked carefully. Hoping he knew it would be okay to talk to you and after a beat of silence you heard him sigh.
‘Yeah, I um… I don’t know if you’ve seen’ he asked cautiously and you knew this was your time to step up and be the friend he’d always been to you. It was as clear as day he needed someone and you were ready to be exactly what he wanted.
‘I’ve seen, Mase’
‘Okay’ he gulped, his voice timid and it made your tummy ache at how sad he sounded.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Dunno, a bit numb to it all I think’ he chuckled but you could tell there was no joy in it. ‘I could really do with a hug’
‘Next time I see you I’ve got the biggest hug ever for you, okay? Gee too, I promise’ you reassured him but you could feel yourself becoming emotional at how he sounded. He’d been through a lot lately but you’d never heard him so downbeat.
‘Thank you’ he laughed ‘I’ll be seeing you soon I guess. We’re leaving the trip early to travel up and I’ve got a hotel for the week but maybe I could pop by?’
‘Of course, you can stay with me the whole time Mase you know that right?’ You offered but you knew it made more sense for him to stay with his family.
‘It’s fine, the club are paying for the hotel and then I’ll be away on tour no doubt. And I’ll hopefully have a house sorted when I get back’
‘Well you know you can come over whenever’. You reiterated and after a beat of silence you could help but ask how he was again. ‘Are you sure you’re okay, Mase?’
‘I’ll be fine, sorry I would say more but we’re in the car’ he explained and you understood immediately that he didn’t want to say too much in front of his family.
‘No it’s fine, listen I need to make Gee’s dinner and sort her out for bed but why don’t you call me later? Like when you’re in your room and we can have a proper talk’ you offered. Not wanting him to bottle it all up and make himself sick.
‘Are you sure? It might be late’
‘I’m sure Mase. I told you I’m always here, yeah? Even if it’s 2am I’ll wait for you, okay?’
‘Thank you’ he whispered and you could hear the emotion in his voice. Trying to gulp it down as best he could before he let you go so you could sort Gee out.
It had just gone midnight when Mason messaged you to say he was ready. He knew it was late and said if you were too tired it could wait until tomorrow but you were high on adrenaline and knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep without speaking to him first.
‘Hey’ he breathed as he answered. A little more pep in his tone which made you feel better but you knew this was going to be a hard conversation.
‘Hey Mase, how’s the hotel?’
‘Yeah it’s nice. Feels weird being in Manchester and not staying with you though’
‘I’ll see you soon though, yeah? I’m so sorry it didn’t work out how you wanted it to Mase, they’re complete dicks I swear to god’ you started but you could tell from his laugh on the other end of the line he was feeling better than earlier.
‘Y/n honestly, it’s fine. Yeah it’s sad and it sucks but I’ve had some time to think about it in the car and I think this is for the best’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah, like don’t get me wrong It's gonna be weird and will take some getting used to but it’s a fresh start and is not like I’m completely on my own. I’ve got Luke, Harry, Rashy and Jadon there. I’m sure the other guys are nice too but it’ll help having them around’
‘You’ve got a couple of other people up here too’ you told him with a smile and it’s like you could feel his radiating down the line.
‘Oh yeah, who's that?’ he asked cheekily and it was the most normal you’d heard him sound all day.
‘Well there’s me for starters. And there’s a little girl who’s asleep next to me who thinks the absolute world of you and I know she’ll be so excited to have you close by now’ you told him. Usually she would have been asleep in her own bed but you thought she was coming down with something and wanted to check on her so she was currently snoozing away peacefully next to you.
‘Have you told her yet?’
‘No, I thought we could tell her together? You know whenever you’ve got time to come here and I can give you that hug I promised you’
‘How about tomorrow afternoon?’ He suggested and you nodded even though he couldn’t see. Happy that you were seeing him sooner than you thought you’d be able to. ‘I’ve got my medical tomorrow but I might need your help with something after’
‘Let me guess? Is it the fact you look like a highlighter right now?’ You laughed and even through the phone you could see his little embarrassed smile.
‘A little bit’ he giggled. ‘Do you think you could help me sort it out’
‘I’ll grab some dye tomorrow on my lunch break, okay?’
‘And that’s why you’re my best friend’
‘That’s me’ you gulped, the phrase rattling around in your brain a little bit and making you feel uncomfortable.
You weren’t sure if it was the fact you were feeling incredibly protective of him right now but the sound of best friend falling from his lips made you a little disappointed for some reason. You shook it off though and spoke to him for a little while longer until he sounded even more himself again before he had to go. You knew tomorrow would be a long day and he needed his sleep so with a quick goodnight you ended the call.
Mason came over at around 4pm the next day and you opened the door in a hurry. Excitedly pulling him into your arms and you didn’t miss the way he clung to you tighter than he ever had. A quiet sob falling from his lips but you heard it loud and clear and it made your heart break.
‘Oh Mase, come on let’s go and sit down’ you told him. Pulling him into the living room and popping him on the sofa but he was biting his lip to keep it all in and you didn’t want him to. ‘You don't have to put a brave face on for me okay?’
‘I know’ he sniffed, but you knew he didn’t want you to see him upset so you pulled him into your chest and let him hide his face. ‘Fuck I can’t believe it’s just over and done like that’
‘They don’t deserve your sadness. Just think of this as a new adventure okay? It’s not the one you’d planned but life works in mysterious ways’ you told him as you ran your fingers over his scalp
‘I know, thank you love’ he mumbled sleepily. Relaxing fully into your hold and you knew this was the first time he’d been able to be free with his emotions and not put on a front.
You both sat like that for about half an hour. Mason telling you all about his medical that took place and you were pleased to find out he’d passed. He hadn’t managed to see many people at the club yet though and he was hoping he could meet some of his team mates tomorrow but before long the inevitable question came from him.
‘Where’s Gee?’
‘She’s asleep’ you told him with a laugh. ‘I should wake her up soon, she was just being a right grump so I put her down for a nap. I think she’s getting a little cold’
‘Ah no, poor thing. Can I wake her up?’ He asked shyly and you were in no position to deny him. Thinking you’d probably do anything at this point to make him smile so you took his hand and squeezed it gently.
‘Go on then’ you smiled. Following him into her room where he carefully tried to wake her up and you had to hold on your giggles at the way he was being so careful not to make any noise. Laying his face next to hers whilst shaking her gently to try and wake her and you watched in delight as her face lit up at the sight of him.
‘Masey’ she mumbled sleepily. Wrapping her arms around his neck so he could lift her and you could see it as clear as day how much joy she gave him. Watching on from the doorway full of love at your two favourite people and from the way Mason was smiling at you, you knew he was feeling it too.
‘Surprise, pickle’ he laughed. ‘I thought you might not recognise me’
‘She’s been calling you candy floss head ever since I showed her the picture of you the other week’ you laughed, walking over to the pair of them so you could brush your fingers through his grown out locks and you didn’t miss the way his eyes fluttered shut at your touch.
‘Well I can’t be candy floss head anymore. Uncle masey is having his picture taken tomorrow so I need to sort the barnet out’ he told her as she joined you in touching Mason's hair. ‘You're working tomorrow aren’t you? Its okay I was just wondering if you wanted to come along with the rest of us’
‘Oh I would if I could Mase, but I’m down a few staff for holidays and if Gee is out of daycare for a day that I’ve paid for she might lose her place’ you pouted but he just nodded understandingly.
‘It’s okay, I’ll just send you updates’ he smiled. Looking back down at Gee who was smiling up at him happily. ‘Come on then, let’s sort this out’
You made him sit on the edge of the bath with the towel around his shoulders as you applied the dye. Gee watching on as you coated his hair and it was good to see she’d perked up a little bit with Mason around. Singing him the new song she’d learnt that day whilst trying to teach him the actions but he couldn’t quite get it and she would laugh hysterically each time he messed up.
Once it was all washed out and he was back to being your Mason, you made a start on dinner so you could all sit together and once it was over you could see Mason was itching to tell Gee his news.
‘Hey Gee, you know how much you love having uncle Masey around?’ You started, watching her little head nod up and down enthusiastically. ‘Well what if I told you we might be able to see him a lot more often now?’ You told her but the reality suddenly hit that you didn’t know for sure if he’d be able to see you guys anymore than he did. He just said he was moving closer and that was all. ‘Well I hope we will at least’
‘Of course you will, I’ll be bugging you everyday if I can’ he told you sincerely but you just giggled at him before he turned to Gee with a smile. ‘Uncle Masey is getting a new house not too far from here so I’ll be able to see you all the time. And we can have sleepovers and all sorts. Maybe I can come and get you from daycare sometimes? What do you think?’
She couldn’t speak much, her mouth full of pasta as Mason was still feeding her but from the way she clapped her hands and tried to laugh excitedly you could tell she was over the moon at the idea.
‘You don’t have to do that, Mase’
‘I want to though. You help me out all the time and it’s no biggie if it gives you a bit of a break. You’ve been on your own up here but you’ve got help now’ he told you sincerely and you felt your chest warm at how kind he was being. ‘Plus you guys know all the good places up here now. You need to teach me the ways’ he joked but you couldn’t wait to take him to all your favourite places properly.
Mason couldn’t stay too much longer, claiming he needed his beauty sleep so he didn’t look rough in his pictures so you let him go with the promise that he’d call you as soon as he could the next day.
You texted him that morning but didn't expect to hear from him until much later that evening though as you knew he’d had a long day but you just stepped through the door, your phone began to ring.
‘Hey, Mase. How did it go?’ You asked excitedly as soon as you answered the phone and you heard his little giggle straight away.
‘Yeah really good thanks, love. We’re just on the way back to the hotel now’ he told you and you could tell by his voice how much happier he seemed than yesterday. ‘Do you think you’d wanna join us for dinner tonight? We’re just eating there but I know Summer would love to see Gee and my mums asking after you’
‘If it gets me out of cooking then I’m all for it. Just let me know when and where and I’ll be there’ you told him and within the next half an hour you were on your way. Lewis meeting you out the front so he could take you to everyone and Gee was quick to run to Summer who gave her a big hug.
Seeing Mason's parents made you realise how much you missed your own. You saw them every so often when you made the trip home or they came to visit but being surrounded by so much love made you feel a little homesick. Gee’s birthday was coming up soon though and you knew you’d be seeing them soon which cheered you up slightly.
You sat and listened as they told you all about their day. Mason chiming in when he could but he was sitting in between Gee and Summer so he had his hands full but every so often he’d send you a warm smile that made your heart melt.
‘Gee, you wanna come up and see my room?’ He asked her as you were finishing up your dessert and you could see her nodding up at him. ‘I’ve got a little something for you up there too if you’re good’
‘What have you done? You laughed but he just looked at you with his usual cheeky smile and you couldn’t figure out what he was up to.
‘Me? Nothing’ he winked, shrugging his shoulders before leaning over the back of Gee’s chair so he could talk to you a little more privately. ‘What about you anyway, have you been good?’
‘I’m always good’ you chuckled. The question suddenly making your neck and cheeks feel hot and you didn’t miss the way his eyes flashed to your lips before he chuckled light heartedly.
‘I know you are, that’s why I’ve got something for you too’ he told you with a wink and you had to look down into your lap so no one could see how much you were blushing at his silly comment.
You bid his family farewell before he took you up to his room. Mason holding Gee’s hand as they walked in front of you down the corridor and your heart melted at the way she kept looking back and smiling at you like she was the happiest girl in the world to be with him.
Mason had that effect on people though.
Once in Mason's huge room, he sat Gee on his lap as you sat next to them as he did his best to explain to her that he was part of a new team now so he had a new kit before producing a little shirt for her. His name and new number proudly sitting on the back and after you’d helped her put it on over her dress she was straight over to the mirror to admire herself in it.
‘Number seven, yeah? Mason that’s huge’ you told him. Your voice emotional and you finally saw it in the flesh but he grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently.
‘I know’ he chuckled. ‘Big responsibility but I’m up for it. They’ve been really good to me, you know? I wanna pay it back to them’
‘Come here’ you whispered. Opening your arms and pulling him into a hug that he gladly accepted and you couldn’t get over how much you needed him close right now. The feel and smell of him brought you comfort more than anything and it was like you needed the hug just as much as he did. Knowing you’d been worrying about him for weeks but now you knew things would finally be okay made your shoulders relax.
‘I got you one too’ he mumbled. The words almost getting lost in your neck but you pulled away with a quizzical look before he was reaching over to hand you another new shirt. ‘I know it might be weird, you’ve always supported me at Chelsea so I get if you don’t wanna wear it-‘
‘Hey, I’m a you fan, Mase. I’ll support you in whatever way you need’ you smiled. ‘Plus I think I prefer the red anyway, it matches my lipstick. The blue always clashed’
‘I mean I think you look good in whatever, but I’m glad you agree’ he shrugged and you felt heat rising up your neck at his compliment.
Mason stayed in the hotel for the next few weeks until he went on tour but you knew he wasn’t happy there. People had figured out where he was and would follow him home from training so when he got back from America and he told you his house wouldn’t be ready for another week or so, you practically forced him to move in with you.
It was nice having someone to come home to, someone to cook for who wasn’t almost two years old and someone you could have an adult conversation with.
Most of the time anyway.
Gee loved having him there too by all accounts, but ever her perceptive self she knew he was about to leave soon and her mood on his last full day with you took a plumet. She couldn’t understand why he wasn’t staying with you forever and she spent most of the day in a mood on the sofa refusing to eat. The only time she came out of her shell a bit was when Mason laid down next to her and put his head in her lap and she couldn’t resist him. Giggling as she tried to hug his head and kiss it sweetly and the whole interaction made you feel softer than ever for them both.
‘You don’t need to be upset about me going, Gee. You know we’ll still see each other all the time. Even more so than we used to, okay? I’ll only be down the road’ he assured her. ‘I can’t stay away from my favourite girl for too long so I’ll be back all the time’ he explained and you felt your heart thudding in your chest during their little conversation.
Mason had always been good with kids, but to see him like this with your baby was something completely different and as much as Gee was moody that he was going, you couldn’t exactly blame her as you were feeling the same.
‘You’re so good with her’ you smiled, watching him blush slightly at your compliment as he came into the kitchen a few moments later. ‘Though I am a bit mad at you’ you huffed playfully but he took your words seriously. His face dropping as he looked at you carefully and you could see the confusion in his big brown eyes.
‘What did I do?’
‘I thought I was your favourite’ you pouted. ‘I know she’s just a baby but I’ve known you longer’ you teased. Trying your hardest to look upset but he saw right through it. Giggling as he grabbed your waist and when he pulled you into a hug you relaxed as he held you.
‘You know you’ll always be my number one girl’ he told you softly. The words getting lost in your hair but that didn’t mean they lost their effect. Your skin breaking out in goosebumps as you tried to stop the giant smile at the thought of still being his favourite person but before you could tell him he was your number one too, he carried on speaking. ‘But since you decided to clone yourself, unfortunately you’re gonna have to share me’
You didn’t know what it was, but the thought of sharing Mason with anyone but Gee made you feel uncomfortable. Your smile dropping instantly as you instinctively held him closer but he squeezed you back just as tight before dropping a kiss on your head and pulling away.
Mason was yours, no one else’s
You remember thinking years ago that you’d have to put up with the person chose as his his own one day, just like Mason had done for you with Jack but now the prospect filled you with dread.
You didn’t want to see him with anyone else. The thought of him touching anyone else, kissing someone else… you hated the idea of it to the point it made your skin feel hot and clammy.
You knew you were being selfish, Mason wasn’t yours and you’d told him you didn’t see him in a romantic way but the thought suddenly hit you that if no one else could have him then what did that mean?
Did that mean you had to have him?
You’d never given being with him much thought, yes you knew he still harboured some feelings for you, at least he’d admitted as much around a year ago now but Mason had always been your best friend and you never really had time to sit and think about how your relationship had grown.
But now?
He was your safe place. Your light in the dark when things were going wrong and you felt hopeless. The boy that made you laugh when you needed it and held you when you needed that too.
The boy who’d taken on your plus one like she was his own and did everything he could in his power to keep the both of you happy and safe.
He made you feel like a family
You loved Mason. Loved him more than you realised or could possibly explain to anyone else as it only made sense to you but the possibility of now being in love with him was smacking you in the face.
He was over by the stove and you turned to steal a glance of him. His brows pinched and lips pouty as he stirred the pot you’d abandoned and you were filled with that same warm feeling. Like he was human sunshine and all you wanted was to bask in his glow but clearly you’d gotten yourself wrapped up in your feelings a little too much until the sound of his voice was snapping you out of your trance.
‘Have I got something on my face?’ He asked, wiping his cheek softly but you just smiled shyly at him.
‘Oh, n-no you’re good’
‘Stop looking at me like that’ he laughed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders but you were thankful that you could hide your face and the blush that had taken over your cheeks. ‘When Gee’s gone to bed, do you fancy watching a movie? Just us’
‘Yes please’ you whispered. Excited about the prospect of some alone time with him and with a quick kiss to your head he walked back over to the stove.
You had a few veggies left to chop so you asked him to keep on stirring the sauce whilst you chatted lightly and clearly he got a bit too confident as he went a bit too quickly and slopped some sauce on the side which he quickly cleaned with the nearest cloth.
‘Oh Mase’ you huffed. ‘That's a clean tea towel’
‘Sorry love’ he gulped, looking more guilty than he should but you just took it from him with a smile.
‘It’s fine, between you a Jack I’ve gotten used to it over the years. Must be a bloody boy's thing to stain everything’ you told him as you chucked it by the washing machine. When you looked back at him though he was facing away from you however his neck was red and you could see his shoulders were tense. ‘Mase? You alright?’
‘Yeah fine, I’m gonna go set the table’ he told you and without another look he was gone.
In typical Mason fashion he fell asleep watching your movie that night so you coaxed him onto your chest so he could get comfortable but you also used it as a bit of an excuse just to look at him for a bit. His adorable cheek squished as he laid there with his lips slightly open and you had to stop yourself from leaning down and kissing him. Shaking yourself out of your trance as a wave of confusion rolled over you and you sat there blankly looking at the screen.
This new found need to comfort him and love on him was overwhelming but you hadn’t vocalised anything yet and you knew you needed a big gossip session with Ell before you took any next steps. The kissing part was new though and you couldn’t tell if you were thrilled or horrified by it.
You couldn't stop thinking about him. Flicking through all the pictures he’d sent your way lately when you were in bed every night but the more you thought about being with him and everything it would entail, the more you realised it might not work.
You didn’t even know if he still felt the same after all these years. Yes you’d overheard him talking to Gee over a year ago but that was then and this was now. It has been years and you’d never shown him any inkling of wanting anything more, at least you didn’t think you had, and you were pretty sure he’d told her that he was learning to move on. He must have done that by now surely?
You were snapped out of your thoughts soon enough as you heard your front door being opened. It was a Wednesday so that meant Mason was picking Gee up from daycare and they were back for their dinner.
‘Hello love!’ Gee called excitedly as soon as she saw you. Storming over as quickly as her little legs would carry her and you chuckled at Mason's bemused face as you picked her up for a cuddle.
‘Love? Have I missed something?’ He asked but little did he know he was at fault for it.
‘She’s been calling me that for the last few days. I think she’s picked it up from you’ you told him. Kissing her cheek softly as you placed her on the counter so you could carry cooking.
‘Oh Gee’ he laughed standing in front of her and she sent him a giddy smile as he trapped her in between his arms that were leaning on the side. ‘That's mummy, not love’ he explained but you weren’t sure she was even listening properly. ‘She’s my love, but your mummy’
My love.
You hoped he didn’t hear the little gasp that fell from your lips at his words or the way you almost dropped your spoon into the sauce you were stirring but thankfully when you finally looked up Mason was still talking away with Gee and seemed none the wiser.
‘Do you think you could help me out for Gee’s party?’ You asked, trying to change the subject so you didn’t fixate on what had just been said and even though he was playing it cool, you could tell he was happy you’d asked him.
‘Of course, what do you need me to do?’
‘Well I was hoping you could take her out for the morning? Ell said she’d come over and help me decorate and then you could bring her over when it’s all done? Like for the big surprise?’
‘Oh thank god, I thought you wanted me to blow balloons up and as much as I love her I don’t think I’ve got the lungs for it’ he chuckled. ‘Oh wait, I thought your parents were coming up, do you not want them to have her?’
‘No that's a surprise too’ you nodded. ‘If she knows they’re here then she’ll be suspicious. I want her to see everyone all together’
‘Okay, yeah’ he smiled, nodding enthusiastically before turning back to Gee so he could plan their day together.
When the morning of the party came Mason was over early to get Gee and once she was all packed up they were off and out. Mason promising he’d message you with updates as soon as he could but you weren’t expecting one half an hour later no matter how cute it was.
You and Ell were the dream team. Decorating your house in record time with giant animal balloons and bunting that looked like giant leaves. You were going for a jungle theme as you’d managed to pass down your love of the outdoors to her, and the most important decoration was the giant giraffe balloon that you had tied to the back of her chair.
Gem the giraffe was Gee’s favourite toy. Her little comfort animal she’d had from the day she was born and she was rarely seen without it much to Mason's delight. Telling you all the time it was a good job he’d found it in the gift shop and it was the best £15 he’d ever spent but clearly today he was out to spend even more.
That's how most of the morning went. You and Ell working away as Mason sent you lots of updates and you wondered if it was because he was feeling nervous about his first time looking after her properly. He had her once a week all on his own but this was for a lot longer and you could tell he was worried about doing something wrong.
Soon enough guests were arriving. Noah and Tommy were the first to arrive as they’d been to pick up the cake and after your parents arrived you couldn’t contain your emotions. It had only been two months since you’d seen them but you missed them terribly being so far away and you always felt whole when they were up here with you.
You didn’t invite too many people, just a few of Gee’s little friends from daycare with their parents and Mason asked if Luke and his kids could pop by so you were excited to have them there. Luke had always been a sweetheart to you and you were excited to meet Anouska and talk to her about the little one she was currently growing.
You’d packed Gee a dress in her bag and you asked Mason to put her in just before they got back. Hoping that the pair of them could avoid staining it if she didn’t have it on all day and as you watched them walk up the drive hand in hand, you couldn’t contain your laugh as he’d kept on her new trainers with it.
She looked adorable though and when Mason walked her into the living room her face was a picture. Not knowing where to look as there were so many of her favourite people in one room shouted surprise but she was straight to you so she could show you her new shoes.
‘Very nice, baby’ you giggled. Kissing her cheek and wrapping her up in a big hug before everyone else came over to say hello and hand her a present. You could have cried from the soft little fank yews she gave everyone and the big smile she kept sending your way. Knowing she wasn’t 100% sure what was going on but she was happy nonetheless.
Gee wasn’t exactly shy, but you could see how much she loved being the centre of attention. Eventually going to join her little friends from daycare along with Luke’s kids so you could start the party games and before you could even think Mason was by your side with the gift you’d wrapped for pass the parcel. His phone already synced to your speaker and you could see Luke laughing at the way he seemed so into everything out of the corner of your eye.
‘Go sit next to her, I’ll do this bit’ he smiled and you quickly kissed his cheek before joining her. Only noticing around halfway through that he had a massive kiss mark on his cheek from your red lipstick but when Lewis turned up he was quick to wipe it off whilst teasing him.
Throughout the afternoon he was the perfect host. Constantly clearing up any mess he saw and making sure all the snack bowls were full. Doing the rounds and making sure both him and Gee got to speak to everyone and you almost lost it when you walked into the kitchen to find him wearing your favourite pink washing up gloves. He was so in the zone as he scrubbed away he didn’t see you looking at him until you approached and you knew his cheeks were burning.
‘Mason? What are you doing?’ You giggled but he just looked at you shyly before going back to washing up.
‘Just getting some of this done so there’s not loads to do later’
‘I didn’t invite you here to wash up’ you laughed. ‘Come on, I know you love a bit of pin the tail on the elephant’
‘You’re not wrong’ he laughed, placing the final plate into the drying rack and peeling your gloves off. ‘Come on let’s 1v1, I bet I’ll beat you’
‘You haven't changed, have you?’
‘Never have, never well’ he told you proudly as he swung an arm around your shoulders and you felt your love for him consume you.
‘Good’ you whispered, the pair of you seemingly getting lost in each other's eyes a bit but Mason ruined the moment by flicking your nose playfully before roughing your hair up.
‘I really like the theme you’ve gone with’ he told you as you walked back to join the rest of the party. ‘Reminds me of the parties we had as kids’
‘I just wanted her to have good memories like we did growing up’ you told him and you hoped she would. She seemed happy enough running around with all her friends whilst your mum fed her snacks every so often and as you looked around the room you knew you were right where you both needed to be.
‘Well with you as her mummy I know she will’ Mason told you. Snapping you out of your thoughts quickly but your eyes welling up immediately at his words. ‘I’m serious y/n. She’s the sweetest, funniest little girl and you should be so proud of yourself. You’re doing such a good job I promise’
‘Oh Mase’ you blubbed. Not realising how much you needed to hear that from someone and you quickly covered your face with your hands so he couldn’t see you cry.
‘Well that wasn’t meant to happen’ Mason laughed. Pulling you into his body so he could hold you tightly to chest as he rubbed your back.
‘Sorry, it just means a lot you know’ you told him and he nodded. ‘In the interest of saying thank you, then I need to tell you the same. I didn’t realise how much I needed someone until you got here and I appreciate everything you do for the both of us. I love you so much, Mase. You know that, right?’
‘And I love you just as much’ he told you softly. Wondering if he still meant it in the way he used to but his eyes were blurry from his tears and you couldn’t tell.
Once the pair of you were presentable again you re joined the party. Mason beating you at pin the tail on the elephant which he was more than happy about and you knew when it came down to just the pair of you for musical chairs he let you win. You still took it though and lauded it over him for the next hour until you needed his help. Taking his wrist and pulling him into the kitchen where he was looking at you with a surprised smile.
‘I’m gonna do the cake now’ you told him. ‘Would you grab Gee and sit with her at the table so I can bring it over?’
‘Yeah? You sure’ he asked with a coy smile. This felt like a big deal to him, like he was the special person who got to share this moment with her but you knew there was no one else you wanted sat with her. ‘Do you not want to sit with her? Or your parents?’
‘No I want you to do it’ you nodded. ‘I’ll only be a few minutes so be quick’ you told him and he was off before you could say anything else.
Once the candles were lit, you quickly chanced a look around the corner to make sure everyone was ready but the sight in front of you made your heart flutter. Mason sat to the table with Gee in his lap but all the other kids were around him as they listened to him telling them all they had to sing really loud so the whole street could hear them and they were nodding excitedly as they got themselves ready.
You gave a quick nod to your mum. Letting her know it was okay to turn the light off before you came in with the cake. The whole room singing to your baby as she clapped along with pure joy written all over her face but when you caught eyes with Mason you were smiling even wider. Popping the cake down in front of her as Mason was trying to teach her how to blow the candles out but she didn’t quite have the lungs for it. Both you and Mason helping her out in the end but you made out it was her and she was pretty proud of herself.
You cut up the cake so there was enough to go around and by the time everyone had a bit Gee happily munching away at hers so you joined her at the table with Mason.
‘Mumma, you wanna come sit with Gee?’ Mason asked but there was no way you were interrupting the perfect scene in front of you.
‘No it’s okay, you carry on’ you smiled enjoying watching him feed her little spoonfuls of cake but as the pair of you began to chat a little more he slowed down and she began to huff. His multitasking skills clearly failing him at this moment and you covered your mouth as you smiled at them.
‘Quick Masey, more’ she told him. Tapping his wrist gently to get him to speed up but he just laughed and rested his head on top of hers.
‘Sorry baby’ he chucked. Rolling his eyes at you at her sassiness but he sped up. Smiling as she hummed in satisfaction and rubbed her tummy like it was the best thing she’d ever eaten but you could tell Mason was missing out so you loaded up a fork and held it up to him. His cheeks flaming as he caught onto what you were offering him but he gladly accepted. Eyes boring into yours as he wrapped his lips around your fork and the moment was more intense and intimate that you could have imagined.
‘I can see why you want me to be quick now, Gee. That's some good cake, huh?’ He asked her, looking away as you coughed awkwardly and began to tidy around you as not to arouse suspicion as you knew you were blushing a little bit. You could see his eyes following you as he smiled softly though and the next time you looked his way you shared a soft giggle.
It was around an hour later when the last guests started to leave. Only Mason, Lewis and your parents remaining as you tidied up the last few plates but Gee was eager to play with her presents so you all sat In the living room
‘Hey, Gee? You wanna come get the surprise with me?’ Mason asked quietly as he sat with her on the floor. She was currently dressed in the vet dressing up set one of her little friends had gotten her as she gave her Gem a check up but with an excited giggle, Mason led her to the back room where she emerged moments later with a bag almost as big as her.
‘What’s this?’ You laughed. Taking it from her before she fell but as soon as you spotted the red box you knew what was going on.
‘Fank you for birfday mumma’ she laughed, clapping her hands as you took the box out of the bag.
‘That’s okay baby’ you beamed. Kissing her cheek as she pulled you in for a hug but soon enough she sat next to you in anticipation. Your eyes flying up to Masons immediately who sent you a quick wink and you dived back in to pull out the green Nikes that matched Gee’s and Masons. ‘Really Mase?’ You laughed but he just shrugged.
‘What? Can’t have you feeling left out can we’ he joked. ‘Are they okay?’
‘They’re perfect, thank you’
‘Thats okay’ he beamed. ‘I got you a little something else actually, come with me?’ he asked as he held his hand out to help pull you up and you practically ignored everyone else as you followed him into your kitchen.
You spotted it straight away. Sitting in your windowsill proudly in a new pot and your heart was hammering in your ears at the sight of it.
‘Is that an orchid?’
‘Yeah, I don’t know what happened to yours but I saw it was missing the other day so I replaced it’ he told you proudly and you felt your eyes sting.
‘Oh Mase’ you pouted. ‘I accidentally killed the other one’
‘Oh’ he laughed. Wrapping an arm around you so he could pull you flush against him and once he had you hid yourself on his shoulder. Feeling his lips on to crown of your head as he peppered small kisses there and the action made you hold him even tighter. ‘Consider this a second chance then’
Thats all you were asking for, all you needed from him.
A second chance.
To tell him how you really felt now. That he was your one and that you were sorry you never saw it sooner and if he let you, you’d make him so so happy.
You were just praying that moment would come for you soon.
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